Letting Go...

Trying to let go of someone you really care about is really really hard. Yesterday, reality set in. There's no way that my ex and I would ever get back together. He's moved on and might be seeing another girl. It's really hard news for me to take in. It just hurts so much. We've been hanging out a lot during the summer, and I just hoped and wished that we might be back together soon, and things will be just fine. But actually asking him what he felt about me was a real eye opener. I don't want to continue hoping on something that will never be again. I'm just hurting myself even more. I'm not mad at my ex, I'm trying to be happy that he's found someone else, but it's just really hard. I just hate how I set high expectations of how a day's gonna be or the year or whatever, just to have a bigger crash into disappointment. My ex is a great friend, but it's really difficult just to see him as a FRIEND and nothing more. Apart of me still has feelings for him, but apart of me wants to get over it. I told myself throughout the year that no matter what, nothing's gonna happen between the two of us, and we'll never get back together. But the feelings just kicked in all of a sudden, and I started to feel really hopeful. The hard thing is, is trying to be a good friend while he talks about this other girl, honestly I'd rather him not see her, but I can't stop it. I don't want to hate the girl just cus she's going out with my ex, but I feel the need to hate, to get over the situation. Honestly going through this and seeing my parents go through it, I've come to the conclusion that things most likely will not work out in the end between two people who used to be together. It's going to be really tough if my ex and the girl do get together to come to school everyday seeing them holding hands, kissing doing the stuff we used to do. It just makes me feel less special. Everytime I close my eyes all I see is what my ex and I used to do when we were together but then the image of the girl pops into my place. I didnt think I'd be all emo over this situation, but I'm just really hurting. What makes it even harder to get over him, is that there are no other guys in my school that are even remotely cute, and the fact that most of the guys know a secret that I preferred to have them not know. I would've saved myself a bunch of hurt and sadness if I've never gotten myself into this situation. Things woul dbe easier if I've already moved on and found a great guy of my own. But I don't see that happening anytime soon. It's really hard to hate my ex, cus he's a really good friend, which makes getting over him even harder...