Lately I've been feeling really down. My dad's making it even worse. He keeps asking me "So when your mom and I split who are you going to live with, me or her?" He keeps saying they're going to get a divorce, and my mom's just like "Mhm sure whatever." My dad keeps ranting about how we're going to be seperated. Every single day he brings it up. It's tearing me to bits and pieces. The sad part is, I feel like I can't confide in anyone. Before I used to confide in this one guy about everything, but he's long gone out of my life. I don't know what to do, I hate feeling depressed. It hurts. They've always been joking about getting a divorce, but I'm not sure if they might for real now. I know I have friends and family out there who care about me, but lately I've felt so lonely. I'm really believing that ever lasting love doesn't exist. My own experience, and now seeing my parents drifting away. It just sucks you know? My parents keep telling me stuff about the other, and I hate being stuck in the middle. I just want things to go back when I was 4. So simple, so loving...so happy...I would give anything to go back to that time. I hope this whole divorce thing blows over and they'll just forget about it.
Sunday, August 10, 2008
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3 comments:
ohh D: ! Then, when you feel that way, if I'm online, come talk to me! I'm never doing anything, especially now since it's the Olympics and I just want to watch it all day. :D haha. <3
Aw. *HUGS* This was like so last week for me. My parents were fighting and my dad was going to leave us, but my brother blocked the door and then my mom was all like "someday the time will come when I leave all of you." And the next day my brother & I were srsly thinking she left us because my mom didn't come home from work when she normally does. Everything is fine now, but it sucks =/
I know it's hard-- actually I don't know. I am in no situtation to possibly try to pretend I know exactly how you feel and or going though, but I will just say what I think and hopefully it'll help you somehow. I think you should speak up and let you dad know it's not helping when he says that everyday--you could even ask him a difficult question back and put him in an awkward position. Like "who do you want me to stay with?" cause it's not fair that he's giving you all this shit at a time like this. And your mom, you should talk to her about it all-- let her know you're scared and that if your dad is serious about it she should be too. It's a bit childish that one jokes about such a topic and one kinda pushes it away like it's nothing. Cause this isn't nothing, it's something huge that everyone needs to discuss. Talk to your brother and sister about it too, you guys will need each other when your parents stop wanting to be there. I'm not saying that they are going to split, but be strong okay? I can only imagine how hard it is for you, but keep strong, cause your siblings will need someone like you to lean on, and you have us to help.
Many times parents have these types of fights, my parents have too and it hurts me as well. Hopefully your parents can solve whatever made them not love each other as much and fix it-- because they must have been married for at least 15years now. Stay strong!
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